tips for newborn stage

We had three new Choice Moms within a week here in Minnesota recently -- all moms to newborn girls -- and the common question came up: any tips for dealing with the exhaustion and logistics in these early days, especially if there aren't many family members around to help? The local Choice Moms responded with great advice:

From Debbie, mother of an 11-year-old daughter:
1. My big recommendation — get out of the house. Plan to meet at the mall at 7 in the morning and go mallwalking.

2. Don't worry about cleaning your house. In the big scheme of things, food and clothing comes before cleanliness. If you vacuum, do dishes and clean the bathroom every now and then that is good. Forget about dust, children's toys, scrubbing floors, yard work. Or hire a cleaning lady — we deserve it.

3. Sometimes it is nice to just have someone over to talk to or to hold the baby while you try to get some things done. Don't be afraid to ask. Or work out deals with the other new moms. Meet at each others houses while one does laundry, or better yet meet at Target.

4. AND, don't forget take naps when she does. Most of the things you think you want to do can wait and it is easier to be a good Mom when you are rested. You will need lots of sleep for a while.

From Joyce, mother of an 8-year-old daughter:

I remember being so scared to leave the hospital. I could not believe they were letting me take this baby home. I had no idea what I was doing! Emma's first bath was comical and I'm lucky I did not break her neck the way it flopped around.

5. Take one day at a time and make meals, etc. very simple. Get as much sleep as you can. Even ask someone to come over and watch her so that you can sleep.

6. When they are tiny babies, you can get bored because they sleep so much. Like Debbie suggested, make sure you get out and about. I know the Burnsville Center has an organized Stretch and Stroll event. Perhaps other malls do too.

7. Grocery delivery comes in very handy, when you need it. Simons Delivers is now Coburns Delivers, plus Lunds & Byerly's also deliver (or you can pick up through their drive through). You can get diapers and everything. It is expensive, but sometimes, especially in the winter, you need it.

From Susan, mother of a 6-month-0ld son:

First, congratulations! What an amazing adventure you have just begun. Regarding your fears of doing it all alone without family — I am in the very same situation and I know exactly how you feel.

8. As hard as it is, accept whatever help your friends offer. I still struggle with accepting help, but I am always glad when I do. Very early on, when I was ridiculously sleep-deprived, I had a friend come over occasionally for an hour or two so I could sleep. They would watch the baby, or take out the trash for me, or do the dishes. They also brought me food. I had a hard time eating much during my maternity leave, because I only had one hand free most of the time, so I greatly appreciated it whenever someone brought me food.

9. The other thing I did was hire a post-partum doula who came over 1-2x a week from 10p.m -6 a.m. I still got up to nurse my son, but she would take him in between feedings and I was able to catch up on a little sleep. She also folded my laundry, which was great. It was expensive, but again, a life-saver. Try this website for finding a post-partum doula. They can come at night or during the day for a few hours. I learned a lot from my doula and she helped me through a few of the early "milestones," like giving him his first bath.